My daughter has a big voice. I don’t mean that her voice is loud. Or screechy.
Being the mother of a daughter means instilling in her a solid sense of strength. Of not giving up or giving in because people expect less of you.
It means giving her a voice.
Thing is, sometimes she is under the impression that hers is the only voice that matters.
Peyton has been described as a “dynamic” child. At age 9, she is intense in every emotion - from happiness to anger to sadness - she feels them all with the same fervor.
She huff and puffs and stomps and sulks over the smallest slight. Is the universe playing some kind of cosmic joke on me? Testing my patience? My resolve? Is there a hidden camera somewhere? (and if so, maybe I'd better think twice about throttling her.)
Other moms have told me that this is quite ‘normal’ and are experiencing the same things with their daughters. Kind of a macabre “preview of the teen years” attitude. I just don’t buy that.
When does a big little voice become too big?
When it starts to overtake the entire family.
|This always happens when I tell her to clean her room.|
Peyton feels entitled to express her opinion about everything and all topics are open to debate. There is one problem with that:
One’s sense of entitlement does not make one entitled.
So, how do you foster good self-esteem and strong character while at the same time asserting parental authority? Good question. My plan is to make sure that she knows she is loved, but not letting her operate under the delusion that she is any more important than any other member of our family.
I think that’s where Dina went all wrong with Lindsay.
My girl has her own opinions and her own sense of self. I think the thing that's missing for me is that her strong personality leaves little room for me to be the "mommy" I want to be.
What she needs is firm guidance and loving approval; what I need is to be "needed" by her a little more.
But for now, I think I can settle for just a little more civility...